I know you. I think I know you. You know me. You think you know me. The knowledge I and You arrive at going the thought way is just an accumulation of information we gather, thereby get the brush and color to paint a picture of the object we observe and store in memory. And, we do it aided by some other supplementary knowledge already acquired through cognitive development or imprinted on our mind by people, events, or surrounding that we draw on.  So, the game is all about knowledge begetting knowledge. It is just like we lay the foundation of knowledge and then put bricks over bricks of knowledge to build a house we live in and to build the thing that we are. If the foundation is right, the house is good. If the foundation is wrong, the house is bad. So are we.

Wonder if our memory is devoid of the picture, image or knowledge of a thing, can we still recognize and figure out the object we observe?  Does that mean we are not free to see things as they are? Are we not capable of knowing what a thing is by going outside the boundary of our own memory! If so, do we only see things that we know about!

We’ll come back to it.

The other tricky fact about this is that the picture, image or knowledge we pile up in memory are well-nigh indelible, replaceable though. It is just not possible to get rid of things once they creep into our memory. They are there to stay.  It is one way traffic. They can come in but can’t go out. One can only receive a new one to place it over the old one or may be replace it. Even now, the old one is not dead or erased. It is always there, knocking around the memory.

Let’s spend some time to mull over it. Can we possibly have a memory in which one image is erased and the other is not yet planted? Huh, that is simply unthinkable!  What a silly thing to think about! Come on! Human memory is not a black board which you can wipe clean and write anything you like on it!

Well, agree, it doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t work like asking someone to empty the pitcher of dirty water, clean it down, and fill it up with clean water. It works rather like in politics. One president is out after and not before the other is in. We cannot jettison a knowledge, we only overwrite it.

In our way of what we call “life” we are used to going the over-writing or replacing way. We don’t say, hey! Wait a minute, why not I sit back empty or unoccupied for a while and see what happens or how it feels! We don’t go the “pitcher” way but the “president” way. That is how we have been taught to go. Haven’t we?

Let me give you an example. I don’t like that red-headed girl. She is a spoiled brat. She is a dirty snob. One of her teachers in school blew her secret to me that her step-father was an alcoholic dip-stick, walked all over her mother, and treated her like a dirt. She bust up after a spat. This woman was a nympho. She had a new man every other month. This girl of hers is the epitome of all the vices in hell. While at school she pulled nose at other girls and made faces. She bullied one Latino into quitting school. She bashed an ebony girl very badly over a spat. The poor girl had 12 stitches on her head. She is scornful of girls from different ethnic communities. Her behavior is nauseating. I can’t stand the sight of her. I hate her. She is a piece of shit.

Now, the image I have of this girl is etched on my memory. It is not going to go away.

And then one day, I bumped into her at my aunt’s place. My aunt has been confined to the wheelchair after the fatal car crash in the tunnel which killed Uncle Phil. Kate is paralyzed knee down. This girl, Jacqueline, turned out to be a nurse in the county hospital. She attended my aunt, gave her regular physiotherapy sessions. I found her a demure young lady, decent, good-natured, kind, loving with a gracious smile flickering around her lips. She not only gave physiotherapy sessions but also helped Kate in cooking and doing the dishes. She’d give a lot tender care to her. The amazing thing about it is that she did it all out of compassion towards Aunt Kate. She is a girl with golden heart. Jacqueline is an angel. My previous image of her was horribly wrong.

Now, this good image of her goes down in memory to replace her bad image.  If only I had not bumped into Jacqueline at Aunt Kate’s place, I’d have carried the negative image of her all along.  I called on Aunt Kate and that exploded all the bad things about her.

To me, the question now is, was it possible for me by any means to let go of the negative image and free my memory of it long before running into Jacqueline at Kate’s place? Was it at all possible for me to see Jacqueline with a mind not influenced by the prejudices of my memory? Was it possible for me to put my mind on neutral ground not affected by ideas for and against her?  And, was it possible for me to trash or erase her previous memory and carry an empty head until I saw her at Kate’s place?

The answer is flatly no. It is not possible for me to carry a mind in my head immune to memory and free of knowledge about things! The reason is simple. We have been taught to go the “president’s way” and not the “pitcher’s” way.  That means we can’t empty the memory of a thing, clean it down, and fill it up with the other one. We can only let go of a picture, image or knowledge after we tighten our grip on the other one.

Now, as regards Jacqueline no matter which of her image, previous or current, I hold and nurture in my memory, I do so to create a wall and live behind it. It goes to become my comfort zone where I feel safe, confident, and secured. And this is exactly what Jacqueline does. She too, creates a wall and live behind it. This way we create two walls and live behind them and throw stones at each other. If only I could smash down the wall one that I live behind, Jacqueline can’t throw a stone at me, for I no longer live behind the wall and she doesn’t know where exactly I live.

How about smashing down the wall that you live behind?